I struggled out of bed this morning to prepare for class and felt the room spin. The thought of math haunts me. Please remind me why I took it in the first place. OH RIGHT at least one science subject in your curriculum. FOL. (It's not just my life.)

GUESS WHO'S BACKKKK :D Ok not that I've always been gone just that I am making this public hehe. Anyway I am going to update more here on happy stuff and not sappy stuff because I cannot stand myself when I am sad I SOUND SO USELESS AND I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SLAPPING MYSELF.
Have been trying to get the layout right since 3 hours ago but the damn pictures are not coming out! I sacrificed my bath and breakfast for this and this is all I got :(

I MISS MY FRIENDSSSSS my lovely girlssss, my sayangs, I EVEN MISS MY FAMILY I have no idea why, my dad has officially become the family counsellor for his side of the family, my mum handling stuff with the new maid, my first sister and BIL not living with us anymore, my second sister busy with work and trips and my brother busy keeping up his fat lifestyle eating and playing games 24/7. I have been studying (not). I have been seeing more cousins from the paternal side lately since my uncle passed away. I saw him at his last moments and it was painful, but I believe he's gone to a better place. Like what my sister said, we have lost the only "famous" actor in the family who became the judge in Ali Baba Bujang Lapok haha. Nonetheless, the family's gotten closer which is good? I haven't been seeing the power rangers clan for so long, our trip to KL at the end of this year is so not going to happen because of tight budgets and stuff but I hope it will go on next year or two years down the road. Everyone's so busy with everything though it's nearing the end of the year. This year has been crazy.

"I asked this week to friends to stare a blank wall – what do you see? In my case, I’m used to stare to a blank wall or a candle – but I don’t try to empty my mind because this is impossible. I rather try to follow my train of thought on what happens inside of me and I’m not entirely conscious. When I wrote the post on staring at the blank wall, I remember I was trying to think about songs, then about the name of the artist, at the same time I was thinking about of the plumber that had to show up in order to fix something in the house. Then I started to think about useless things and then I felt like having a coffee – but I still had two minutes to go. So these two minutes took an eternity and then I tried to make time run faster. This is when I get distracted and think about nothing. Then, all of the sudden, you realize that three minutes of your life have passed. Having said that - meditation is quite interesting. If you do that every day, for only three minutes, if you relax and try to calm yourself by starring at a blank wall or candle, or even closing your eyes and say to yourself “I can spend 10 minutes of my life in silence” – then you will see how things will improve. Because you unconscious mind goes to your conscious mind and somehow you start having intuitions that once were buried and now you can see." - Paulo Coelho

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay 

On and on the rain will fall 

Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence
and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are 


On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are